You are sitting on the sofa with your newborn in your arms while your older child stands beside you, hesitantly asking, “Mom, will you play with me?” Your heart aches. You want to do justice to both, but the days blur into breastfeeding, diaper changes, and sleep deprivation. But there is a gentle solution: established rituals that give your older child security while simultaneously strengthening the sibling bond from the very start. Small, regular moments create familiarity – and also provide you with structure during this intense time.

Watercolor illustration of a preschool-aged child with curly brown hair sitting cross-legged on a soft rug beside a bassinet, gently holding a tiny newborn hand, warm afternoon sunlight streaming through sheer curtains, soft pastel tones of peach and lavender, peaceful and tender atmosphere, close-up perspective capturing the delicate connection between siblings, gentle brush strokes creating a dreamy, intimate mood

Why Rituals are so Valuable in the Postpartum Period

Rituals provide children with guidance and security – especially when the world around them is changing. With the arrival of the baby, everything suddenly shifts: Mom is tired, Dad juggles household chores and the sibling, and the newborn seems to receive all the attention.

Established, recurring moments signal to your older child: “You are important. You belong here. We haven't forgotten you.” Studies show that children who experience regularity during transitional phases develop less stress and jealousy. Rituals create familiarity – and that’s exactly what your child needs now.

At the same time, rituals help you structure the day. Instead of being driven from one need to the next, you create conscious islands of connection. This not only calms your older child, but also yourself.

Daily Rituals that Foster Close Bonds

You don't have to plan elaborate activities. The most beautiful rituals are often the simplest – because they are reliable and create genuine closeness.

The Mom-Child Date (also with Baby)

Each day, set aside a short, exclusive time just for your older child. This could be during breakfast when the baby is still asleep, or an afternoon cuddle on the sofa. Important: Your older child decides what you do. Perhaps you want to look at a picture book together, sneak some chocolate, or build a cuddle corner.

These little dates satisfy the longing for exclusive time and show: “You are just as important as the baby.” Even 10 minutes of undivided attention work wonders.

The Fixed Sleeping Place in the Family Bed

If you sleep in a family bed: Set up a safe sleeping place that belongs only to your older child – with their favorite pillow, a cozy blanket, or a special stuffed animal. This spot signals: “You are welcome here. This is where you belong.” This provides security, especially at night when the baby needs a lot of closeness.

Watercolor scene of a cozy family bed at twilight, soft blue and golden hues, a toddler with blonde hair snuggled into a special corner with a favorite stuffed bunny and patterned quilt, gentle glow from a nightlight, peaceful and safe atmosphere, medium shot from a low angle showing the intimate sleeping space, delicate washes of color creating warmth and comfort

The Welcome Ritual After Waking Up

Every morning when your older child wakes up, you greet the baby together. Perhaps you sing a song, gently stroke the tiny feet, or tell the baby what you have planned for the day. This way, your older child is actively involved – not as a spectator, but as an important part of family life.

Creating Special Quiet Time for Siblings

In the hustle and bustle of the postpartum period, you also need moments to catch your breath – while still giving your older child attention. Here, calm rituals help, which require little energy but provide a lot of closeness.

  • Cuddling Together While Breastfeeding: While you breastfeed the baby, your older child cuddles beside you. You can listen to an audio play together or tell a story. This way, no one feels excluded.
  • The Foot Bath Ritual: How about a family foot bath together? Warm water, a few drops of lavender oil, and you relax together. The baby lies nearby, your older child enjoys the attention – and you take a break for yourself.
  • The Bedtime Story (also during the day): Maintain the usual bedtime ritual – even when the baby is around. Children especially need this reliability during transitional phases. Try not to change routines that provide security for your child.

These quiet moments create rhythm in everyday life and provide stability for all family members.

Actively Involving Siblings in Ritual Designs

Children love to co-create. When your older child can contribute their own ideas, they feel taken seriously – and the rituals become “our” rituals, not just “Mom's rules.”

Ask your child: “What would you like to do with the baby every day?” Maybe they want to sing a song to the baby every morning, choose a stuffed animal, or help with diaper changes. Let your child decide. This strengthens their self-confidence and the bond with their sibling.

Watercolor illustration of a young child with dark skin and braided hair holding a colorful handmade poster with the text OUR FAMILY RITUALS written in playful letters, surrounded by drawings of hearts and stars, bright morning light, cheerful and creative atmosphere, eye-level close-up capturing the child proud expression, vibrant colors of orange, teal, and yellow, soft brush strokes conveying joy and ownership

The documentation of the postpartum period can also become a wonderful ritual: Give your older child your phone camera and let them take photos – of the baby, of you as a family, of special moments. Later, you can create a photo album together. This way, your child becomes the “official family photographer” and creates their own memories of this time.

Creative Rituals That Are Easy to Implement with a Newborn

You don't need complicated crafting projects. The best rituals fit into your everyday life and require little effort – but create a lot of connection.

  • The “Good Morning Song” for the Baby: Every morning, your older child sings a song to the baby. It can always be the same song or a different one each day. The baby will love their sibling's voice – and your older child feels important.
  • The “I Am Proud of You” Round: Every evening, everyone shares what they are proud of today. Your older child can share what they accomplished – and you celebrate their small and large successes. This strengthens their self-esteem.
  • The Visiting Ritual: When someone comes to visit, your older child can open the door and “introduce” the baby. This way, they feel like an important part of the family, not just a spectator.
  • The “Baby Massage” (with the Sibling as Helper): While you gently massage the baby, your older child can choose the lotion or turn on soft music. Shared caregiving rituals create closeness.
  • The “Secret Hideout” for Gifts: Together, set up a small box where your older child can place “gifts” for the baby – a drawing, a leaf from a walk, a toy. Later, you can show the baby what has been collected.
Watercolor painting of a small wooden treasure box with a heart-shaped lock, placed on a windowsill with soft morning light, filled with colorful drawings, a feather, and a tiny toy car, gentle shadows, warm tones of amber and cream, shallow depth of field focusing on the box, intimate and nostalgic atmosphere, 85mm portrait lens feel, delicate and detailed brush work

Rhythm and Regularity: Your Anchor in the Postpartum Period

The postpartum period can be chaotic – and that’s exactly why established rhythms are so valuable. You don’t have to be perfect every day, but small, recurring moments provide everyone with stability.

Try to incorporate three fixed rituals into your day: one in the morning, one in the afternoon, and one in the evening. It can be as simple as:

  • In the morning: Shared breakfast with the favorite song
  • In the afternoon: 10 minutes of cuddle time on the sofa
  • In the evening: Bedtime story and the “I love you” ritual

This regularity gives your older child security – and provides structure for yourself. You don't have to think every day about how to do justice to both children. The rituals carry you.

Watercolor abstract visualization of daily rhythm, flowing waves of soft pink, lavender, and mint green representing morning, afternoon, and evening, gentle transitions between colors, no human figures, peaceful and calming mood, wide composition showing the flow of time, deep depth of field, 24mm wide-angle feel, soothing and meditative atmosphere, delicate color gradients

Your Path to More Familiarity and Less Stress

Rituals in the postpartum period are not an additional task on your to-do list. They are islands of connection that provide you and your children with support. They don’t have to be perfect – they just need to be.

Start with a single ritual that feels good for you. Maybe it’s the Good Morning song, maybe cuddle time while breastfeeding, maybe the joint foot bath in the evening. Try out what works for you – and let your older child help decide.

Over time, you will notice: These small, regular moments create not only familiarity between the siblings but also give you peace and the feeling that you are doing justice to both children. And that is the best thing you can wish for in the postpartum period.