Your child is asleep. You’re lying awake, going over the day once more: Why was I so impatient earlier? Have I forgotten something? What if everything is too much again tomorrow?

When you’re overthinking, the same questions come back without any new answer appearing. With a short writing exercise, you can look more closely at one thought: is it about a task or about a fear?

Is it a problem or a judgement about yourself?

“I haven’t confirmed the appointment yet” describes a task you can do. “I can’t cope with my life” turns it into a judgement about you as a whole person. Both can feel equally pressing. Only the first version already tells you what you could do.

The self-help resources from the British health service NHS therefore work with checking thoughts and separating solvable problems from hypothetical worries. These methods come from cognitive behavioural therapy. NHS: checking thoughts.

To start with, pick a manageable situation. You do not need to sort out your relationship, your job and your whole experience of being a mother all at once in the middle of the night. If something feels acutely threatening, safety comes first; this exercise is not meant for that.

Five questions about one specific thought

Take a sheet of paper or open a note. The everyday template below is an editorial suggestion. There are no points and no right result. Write as much as feels possible today.

1. What actually happened?

Describe the scene like a short observation. Who was there? What was said or done? For now, leave out assumptions about what other people think.

Example, made up: “While getting dressed, I spoke sharply to my child. They cried. Afterwards we walked to the door together.”

2. What sentence won’t leave my head?

Write the thought down as literally as possible: “I’m a bad mother.” Next to it, write the feeling, for example guilt, sadness or shame. A painful thought does not necessarily describe the whole situation.

3. What do I know, and what am I assuming right now?

In the example, this much is clear: your tone was sharp and your child cried. That needs to be taken seriously. This scene on its own does not tell you how every other interaction goes. You can take your tone seriously without putting yourself down as a person. Maybe you apologised later. Maybe you’re noticing now that the morning routine needs more time or more help.

You are not looking for an acquittal. You are separating one specific action, for which you can take responsibility, from a sweeping condemnation of yourself as a person.

4. What sentence describes the situation more accurately?

For example: “My tone wasn’t okay today. I was under pressure and I want to react differently tomorrow. This morning does not describe our whole relationship.” You do not have to jump from “everything is wrong” to “everything is wonderful”. One believable sentence is enough.

5. What do I do with this?

Choose one action that fits the situation: speak calmly with your child later, simplify the morning routine or sort out a specific childcare gap. If there is nothing to do right now, write that down too. That turns “I need to do better” into something like: “Tonight I’ll lay out the clothes. Tomorrow we’ll allow ten extra minutes.”

Try the change and adjust it if it still doesn’t fit your mornings.

A woman writes a thought into her notebook in the evening.
Write down one specific scene instead of judging the whole day.

When the worry can only be dealt with tomorrow

Some questions cannot be answered in the evening. The paediatrician’s surgery is closed. You’re waiting for a reply. Write down when and with whom you will follow it up, instead of checking the same question over and over again.

The NHS also describes a limited “worry time”: around ten to fifteen minutes to write concerns down and sort them by what action is possible. This is one possible self-help technique, not an obligation. NHS: dealing with worries.

If a fixed writing slot adds even more pressure, you do not need one. For today, it may be enough to write: “Tomorrow after breakfast I’ll call.” Then close the note. The thought is allowed to come back without you having to start a whole new round straight away.

A closed notebook lies next to a cup by an armchair.
When the next step is clear, the note can stay closed for today.

What you do not have to talk yourself into with this exercise

Being overloaded is not automatically a thinking error. If you are getting little sleep, being interrupted constantly and carrying the whole organisation of family life, changes in everyday life are needed too. A new sentence will not take over a night shift or a government office appointment.

So when thoughts keep coming back, ask yourself: what is actually missing? Rest? Support? A clear agreement? If your head is full of responsibilities, you’ll find a concrete conversation example in the article Mental load: really handing over tasks.

You also do not need to reinterpret hurtful behaviour from other people in a kinder way. If you are afraid of someone or feel under pressure, seek support from a trusted person or a suitable advice service.

Two questions that may come up when you try this

What if I can’t think of a believable new sentence? Then stay with what you know for sure: “I’m exhausted right now. I do not need to decide my whole worth as a mother today.” You do not have to convince yourself or finish the exercise.

And what if I keep overthinking after writing? That does not mean you have done anything wrong. Stop the exercise if it turns into the next thought loop. If that happens often, talk it through with a professional to find out what support would fit better.

When you should get support

If these thoughts regularly stop you from sleeping, take up a lot of space during the day or limit your everyday life, speak to a doctor, midwife or psychotherapist. You do not have to spend weeks trying to cope with it on your own first.

During pregnancy and after birth, strong anxiety, ongoing low mood and sleep problems can also be part of a condition that needs treatment. A writing exercise cannot assess that. NIMH: mental health symptoms around birth.

If you or your child are in immediate danger, if you feel severely confused, or if you hear voices, seek medical help straight away via your local emergency number or an emergency department. Put the exercise aside and, if possible, ask a trusted person to come and support you.

Writing down thoughts with MomMirror

Does a blank page feel hard? In MomMirror, you can say what’s on your mind by text or voice. The daily check-in also records mood, sleep, energy and stress. That way, a difficult thought sits alongside its context.

Download MomMirror and write down a thought. For iOS and Android, with optional in-app purchases. You can also answer the questions on paper.

Sources

Updated: 9 September 2026. Example and wording by MomMirror. Created with AI support and checked in three editorial rounds; no medical specialist review. The images are AI-generated illustrations.

Note about MomMirror

MomMirror is an app for self-reflection. It does not provide a diagnosis and does not replace medical or psychotherapeutic treatment. Research on behavioural therapy methods does not show that the app is effective for overthinking or health conditions.